Politics & Humor
FYI. I am a Nebraska liberal. That means, in the rest of the country, I am a moderate with liberatarian leanings.
I just got this e-mail from E-Week to renew my subscription. I don't feel like they really know me. They also seem to have some trouble with dates.
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03-18-05
Dear Variable Name,
Because of your industry involvement, you have been selected to apply for a FREE (No fee whatsoever) subscription to eWEEK – The Enterprise Newsweekly.
Please apply online:
by Month 18, 2005
eWEEK (formerly PC Week) is an award winning newsweekly brought to you exclusively by Ziff Davis Media.
Sincerely,
eWEEK Circulation Department
Here is a Dice ad I saw today:
Why would anyone try to recruit programmers with an ad composed of badly formatted C code with a GOTO statement in it? The GOTO isn't even syntactically correct.
I just found out that a background check being done on me has revealed a felony arrest in Frederick, Maryland.
I lived in Frederick in the early 1990's, but I can't for the life of me remember being arrested. Maybe I took one too many night-sticks to the head?
They say crime doesn't pay and I have to agree. I didn't get anything out of the deal and I might lose a job!
According to the Frederick Circuit Court, the only record they have is for a Steven Paul Wright who was arrested for a felony in 2002. Fortunately, I haven't been to Frederick since we moved to Jersey in 1993 and my middle name isn't “Paul”. Now I just have to get those crack(-smoking?) investigators to admit they screwed up.
I am now reconsidering my opposition to a national ID system. This could have been avoided if they used Social Security Numbers as an identifier on criminal records but they aren't allowed to do that I guess.
I have been at home recently waiting for my next assignment. Yesterday, an amazing series of events occurred:
10:00 AM - Hey Steve! We need you in Tampa tomorrow. Can you get there tonight? Sure
10:15 - Flights are booked for 4:15.
11:00 - Underwear are washed
11:15 - Bags are packed.
11:30 - Underwear are dry (remember to stick them in the suitcase, bozo)
1:00 PM - Hotel and car are booked even though I have no idea who the client is or where I am supposed to go in the morning.
2:00 - Head to the airport
2:20 - Park in Long Term lot.
2:30 - Check-in
2:45 - Get through security to the gate area
2:50 - Go take a potty break
2:51 - With my pants (literally) around my ankles, the phone rings and I am told that the client has decided to POSTPONE!!!!!!!!!
(I am told that the resulting stream of profanity was quite entertaining)
4:00 - Arrive back home exhausted from a day of traveling without actually going anywhere.
Because of my new job, I realized that I probably won't be in town on election day. Nebraska has already started the absentee ballot process, so I went down yesterday and voted. (How I voted won't surprise anyone who knows me.)
The interesting this was how the ballot was handled. In Nebraska, we use the ballots that have you fill in an oval with a pencil. We haven't used “chads” since I have lived here.
The funny thing was that the ladies at the election office told me that the ballots hadn't been received from the printer yet because the printer is in Florida (a.k.a. Hurricane Central). My ballot is probably in a bush (pun intended) in southern Georgia somewhere. They had to print the ballot when I got there (on a laser printer). I know it's OK but it just felt like a strange way to do it.
It's nice to know that Florida still has the ability to screw up elections for the rest of us.
Are you tired of watching the news on CNN, ABC, CBS and the like?
Are you too well-informed to call Fox, MSNBC or Talk Radio “news”?
Then tune into the newest newscast on the Internet...in the original Klingon!
http://klingon.dw-world.de/klingon/index.php#
In an effort to elevate the tone of political discourse...
http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/this_land_af
You know how many web sites try to give you links to things that are related to what you are looking at? Amazon gives you things like “People who bought 'Peddaling for Dollars' also bought 'Lance Armstrong: International Conspiricy'”. A news story about Shania Twain might have a link to TicketMaster. And so on.
Well I just saw a cute mistake on CNN.com. I was reading a story about Democratic VP Candidate John Edwards. On the side bar was a link for “John Edward Tickets, $25”. This struck me as odd so I looked at it. It was for tickets to see John Edward, the host of “Crossing Over”. That is the TV psychic who talks to dead people for you.
If Pat Robertson was told by God that Bush will win in a landslide, I wonder what John Edward is hearing from his contacts?
President Ashcroft Explains his Sudden Rise to Power (AP, Washington DC)
Americans awoke this morning to find a new gift from god in our nation's capital: A New President! (Former) Attorney General John Ashcroft assumed the presidency overnight in a remarkable constitutional sequence of events. (Former) President George W. Bush and (former) Vice President Richard Chenney were suddenly "unable to fullfill their obligations under the constitution" when they were declared enemy-combatants of the United States and sent to an "undisclosed location" by plain-clothes agents of the Justice Department. When asked how that occurred, President Ashcroft responded, "it's not my fault if he doesn't read the stuff he's signing." Supreme Court Chief Justice William Renquist was summoned to the White House at 3:34 EST this morning where he administered the oath of office to the 44th president of the United States of America. Afterward, Chief Justice Renquist commented, "Finally, we have a president who understands how the Constitution is SUPPOSED to work!" When asked about the other 5 government officials in line to the presidency ahead of Mr. Ashcroft, the Chief Justice responded, "John said they weren't up to it and he should know". When reached for comment shortly after the swearing in, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D-South Dakota) said, "We wanted Bush out of the White House, but this isn't exactly what we had in mind." [AP was unable to get further comment from Sen. Daschle due to a failure in the Washington DC telephone system.] The new president has promised to have a domestic policy "inclusive of all decent Americans, no matter what church we attend together". No other Democratic or non-Republican political leaders were available for comment.