My Dad's Eulogy
In loving memory of my father: Stephen David Hebert, Sr.
August 2, 2004
Thank you for coming today. Talking to people about dad has been a true celebration of his life and a wonderful comfort to his family. I can’t count the number of times I heard people say what a true friend dad was to them, sharing a laugh, and enjoying his smile. Dad reached us all in countless ways, but I’d like to focus on the lessons he taught his children.
You might remember the lesson of seeking the qualities of wisdom, insight and understanding from our first reading in Proverbs today. In that reading, I see the man that my dad was. He was never afraid to try something – to see how it would work. He sought wisdom, insight and understanding with passion and he taught us to do the same. He allowed us to commit to something and he supported our efforts any way he could. And then he was equally willing to cheer us in our success or lift us up from our failures even when they cost him. He never held a failure over our head, and he never brought it up again regardless of the consequences or cost. You see he protected us not only from others but from ourselves as well.
When we were kids, Mom and Dad went out while Lisa and Chuck and I stayed home. Chuck and I were in the living room and we heard a loud crash come from the kitchen. We ran to the kitchen and there was Lisa standing amidst the shattered remains of our glass table top. She wasn’t hurt, but was crying – worried about what Mom and Dad would say. The possible consequences grew bigger in our heads as the hours passed. Mom and Dad walked in and Lisa blurted out “I broke the table!” At that very moment, Dad burst out laughing and said, “I guess we’ll just have to get another big piece of round glass.”
Dad understood that the real lessons in life come from the heart and these lessons require patience. We don’t learn simply from speeches or stern language and certainly not out of anger. We learn by understanding the implications of our actions and truly learning the lesson in front of us. He was very aware that we could only truly learn if we were willing and he nurtured that willingness every day.
We knew that when we had friends over, Dad would always be there to take us swimming or boating. We never thought it could be any different. We never knew until many years later that he would go down to the car wash late at night to get the work done that he should have been able to do during the day. It has been said that children spell love T-I-M-E. We are the luckiest family in the world to have been blessed with our Dad.
Dad taught us through example throughout our entire lives, and there is no better than the family home. When you drive to our house, you’ll see a sign that says “Chippewa City”, Dad made that sign. You’ll see brick circles around nearly every tree with dirt filled in and flowers planted. Dad did that work in the last six months – six months when every step was physically trying and painful. He’d go to Hawaii, California, Quebec or any other place and always come home to what he called ‘the most beautiful place in the world.’ In his lifetime, he took the most beautiful place on Earth and made it better.
Today, you can look down to the point and see a mound of black dirt and some rock left from his efforts. I see that as a gentle reminder to the opportunity that lies ahead. It’s our turn to leave our mark and build on the foundation he laid.
Over the last few days as my Mom and brothers and sister and I have reflected on our family and shared our favorite memories of Dad, I understand that he was the answer to our prayers given to us long before we even learned to pray. Thank you, Dad, for teaching us every day how to live. And, thank you, God, for giving him to us. Today, we celebrate my Dad’s earthly life and pray for his eternal life. One day, I know, we’ll all meet up and be best friends once again.